The short version of my story is this: I married a raging grandiose narcissist. The relationship was toxic and abusive, caused me to lose a lot of myself, and he will never let me go.  

But still, I went. 

I struggled to obtain my freedom and be considered single again by Jewish Law… It was a long, long journey, and I explored all the avenues available to me. Baruch Hashem, I finally got my p’tur from the International Beit Din. 

The following details the different efforts I made to receive my Get.

This story is shared in the Agunah’s own words and reflects her personal experiences. The views expressed do not necessarily represent the opinions or positions of Get Jewish Divorce Justice.

The Decision to Leave

Two and a half years ago, I made the life-changing decision to separate from my former spouse. I took my three children and began divorce proceedings in civil court. At first, I was hesitant to bring up the Get, fearing that it would give my ex-husband leverage in an already acrimonious situation. I didn’t want him to know how much I wanted it, worried he’d use it against me.

Eventually, I did bring up the Get, but my ex-husband refused outright. “I will never give you a Get,” he said. Feeling trapped, I reached out to the Rabbinical Council of California (RCC) to open a case for a Get. Their response was disheartening: they wouldn’t get involved unless both parties were in agreement or until the civil divorce was finalized.